It all starts with murder, as do all good books about women supporting women. We don’t know who committed the crime, but we can immediately see that these seven women aren’t about to break.
The Briar Club1 by Kate Quinn follows women co-living in a 1950s boarding house in Washington DC. Just like today, first impressions do not even begin to convey the complexity of each woman and what she is going through. And just like today, each woman faces challenges and cultural expectations based on their gender (among other things). The real power of this book though is that despite these women being so different and knowing so little about one another, they show up anyway.
If only that were like today.
Current day echo chambers versus The Briar Club
Life is easier when we do life within a community of people that think exactly as we do. Without talking about politics (for real), let’s use politics as an example. Regardless of political party, I think we can all agree that the other side has it all wrong.
I say that tongue in cheek, but if we are all really honest with ourselves, it’s hard to have a conversation based on politics, parenting styles, or financial choices with someone that does it differently. And you know what? I think that’s okay. It’s when we choose to sit with that discomfort and truly hear one another that we grow.
In The Briar Club, somehow Grace with her sun tea (which I'm about to start brewing in this FL summer ☀️) brings an entire house of entirely unique people together. After years of the other six women just passing one another in the hallways and arguing over the bathroom, they start taking turns cooking for one another and sneaking men over every Thursday night while the cranky landlady is out. It’s during these dinners that you get to see how drastically different the women are. Do they always agree and get along with ease? NOPE. And that’s the beauty of it: they still show up.
Finding common ground amidst our differences
On the surface, we all check certain boxes (note that this is def not an exhaustive list): democrat or republican, children or no children, married or single, working mom or SAHM, straight or LGBTQ, Christian or Muslim or Jewish or Atheist, young adult or middle age or senior. At the heart of it all though is that we are all human and going through some freaking stuff.
In The Briar Club, you get each woman’s POV as you move closer in time to the murder introduced on page one. You have Grace, who is an absolute mystery but manages to somehow make the boarding house a home through her Briar Club dinners. Then you have six others:
A mom to a toddler, overwhelmed with feelings I think every mom must feel at some point in their parenting journey: pure exhaustion and extreme self-doubt.
An immigrant who fled communist rule in search of freedom, only to be met with suspicion and prejudice over where she came from.
A former star of the women’s pro baseball league looking to find her new place in the world without her beloved game as the war ends and the league comes to a close (def my fave character of course 🥎).
A daughter of a conservative (but crooked) police family that’s fallen in love with a gangster while trying desperately to chart a different path for her life as a career woman.
A hustler desperately reaching for financial stability and entangled in an affair that puts her own future and her lover’s life in danger.
An unlikeable husband-hunter bitterly confused as to how everyone else manages to find the life she dreams of living.
This story is set in the 1950s. These challenges are certainly relatable now, but likely much more difficult to navigate seven decades ago. Seems like these women could use some support, buuuuut they also seem to have about zero things in common. Oh, how much easier it would be for them to just stay in their separate lanes with their heads down to get through their own struggles.
Instead, they seem to recognize that they are all just women trying to make it in a world that feels like it’s out to get them in so many different and unfair ways. They’re all just humans trying to survive their own unique circumstances. Now that is the kind of common ground I’m here for. Those real, in the thick of it, vulnerable connections are where we build meaningful and lasting friendships.
Through regular dinners, the Briar Club ladies begin to band together. They babysit for the exhausted mom so she can catch her breath. They push back against bias and injustice in the spaces they occupy. They protect one another from abuse in the ways they can. They share information and open doors to help each other land the jobs they dream of. And then of course there's the murder (no spoilers here though 🤗). Despite their differences, these seven women see one another, hear one another, and show up for one another.
I repeat: If only that were like today.
Let’s be Each Other’s Briar Club
So many of us believe we are already someone’s Briar Club, and we probably are! But let’s be real: we can all always do better. We can resist judgment when someone’s path looks different. We can celebrate choices we wouldn’t make ourselves. We can recognize the strength in diversity of thought and experience.
While I admittedly feel most comfortable around people who align with me on all the things, I intentionally seek out friendships with people on different paths than mine. I regularly check myself to ensure my friend group hasn’t become an echo chamber and when it has, I adjust. And let me tell you, it’s worth it.
I am personally better for having friends that have chosen to not have kids. I am better for having friends that stay at home with their kiddos. I am better for having friends that don’t parent in the same way as I do. I am better for having friends whose political views and religious affiliations are different than mine. However, I am only better because we have vulnerable conversations on these hard topics. I am imperfect in these interactions, but I grow every time I have them.
Caveat: I only participate in these honest discussions when it feels safe to do so. I don’t always get a non-judgmental vibe from people and sometimes I myself am not in a space to withhold judgement. In those instances, I choose to remain guarded and steer clear of certain topics. But when the right conversations happen, it’s magical. I feel supported and empowered and I learn so much about the world that I never would have had I remained in my nice, tidy little echo chamber.
So, what if we built more communities like The Briar Club: messy, imperfect, full of wildly different women who refuse to let their differences stop them from showing up for one another? I like the sound of that, don’t you?
Next time you meet a woman whose lived experiences and choices are wildly different from yours, consider that maybe she could be your next BFF! After all, you don’t have to live her life to have her back ✨
Kate Quinn writes amazing historical fiction always based on real women and their lived experiences. At the end of every book, she shares what’s factual about each character - and it’s more than you’ll ever imagine while reading. So if you choose to pick this one up, do yourself a favor and DO NOT read the end first!