My year of fear (and it's only JUNE)
Earlier this year, I chose to no longer allow fear to control my decisions. Since then, I have experienced more fear than ever before.
Life stuff (that you just can’t make up)
Earlier this year, I chose to no longer allow fear to control my decisions and accepted a job offer all the way in CO doing something I’ve never done before. Since then, I have had several health scares and have experienced more fear than ever before.
This year I found a golf-ball sized tumor in my shoulder, I experienced scary heart attack symptoms that landed me in urgent care, I had skin cancer removed from my face, and I found a lump in my breast. You guys… It’s only June 😐 My shoulder tumor is benign but will need to be removed, my heart stuff is likely anxiety manifesting in terrifying ways (currently awaiting results to confirm), my skin cancer was completely removed with surgery, and my breast lump was nothing to be concerned about.
To say I am thankful that none of these ailments are trying to kill me is an understatement, but I cannot and do not want to gloss over the fear and emotional exhaustion I have experienced with this series of health issues. Lumps send your mind right to cancer. Chest pain and tingly limbs certainly point to a heart attack. Surgery on your eyelid offers a wealth of superficial concerns. And none of these things are resolved instantaneously - there’s plenty time to freak the eff out and you guys, and I assure you I’ve fully freaked the eff out 😜
As you all know, I’m not a particularly private person, but it’s been tough to share the hard parts about this year with vulnerability especially when all of my diagnoses have been positive. I am so fortunate and filled with gratitude, but it’s been a lot. I want to share so much more on this topic, and I will in a YouTube video at some point. But until then - don’t go through these things alone. Big or small, whatever you’ve got, tell your people. Feel the feels and allow others to come alongside you in those 💖
